butter houdini

i went ahead an bought my cats harnesses and leashes, the 15 foot long variety, so they could go outside without running off and getting hit by a car, or being dragged off by wild dingos.

needless to say, they are not a big hit. actually, my little tabby, ramona, doesn't mind it too much because if the had to throw on a top hat and saddle shoes and tap a little jig just to go outside for three minutes, she'd do it.

but my big orange fur ball, butter, feels differently. in the past, we've let him outside and he just kind of lingers by the door for a while before he dares to feel the grass with his little tootsies. before long he's back at the door meowing for a rubdown and a slice of lasagna. but dammit, i want him to act like the big twenty pound male cat that he is! i want him out there standing on the nearest fence, singing to the moon and getting shoes thrown at him (under my watchful eye, of course).

so i put the harness on him, fitted it as best i could, and this was the end result:

he lied there, with the 15 feet of nylon rope stretched just as far as it would go, and pouted. no stalking birds, no eating grass, no rubbing his back on tree, nothing of the sort. he just lay there, too busy being pissed off to worship the sun. every once in a while he made a little grumbling noise just to remind us all that he was none too happy.

i tried it again another day... we tied him to a post in the backyard thinking if he were surrounded on all sides by grass and nature that he'd have more fun. we turned our backs for like a minute and when we turned back, the empty harness was laying on the ground at the end of the nylon rope, and butter was sitting on the bottom step leading the the deck. he looked at me as if to say, "i can't believe you make me work this hard..."