it's late.

as i lie awake in bed with my husband sleeping soundly next to me (snoring, i might add) i am thinking about how hard this whole marriage thing can be. not that it's not worth it, all the hard work, because it is. but i may need to resort to some outside help to get a handle on it all.

nothing is really so bad. i just can't figure out how to smooth out the rough parts of our relationship. when my husband and i first started dating, my friends, even he and i, commented on how very different we were from one another. he is a totally social animal to the max; i am very happy right here at home most every night of every week. he has oh, i don't know, something like a million close friends. i have enough to count on about one hand. he thrives on unpredictability and fast paced situations; i am a worrier who is not terribly fond of change and one of my favorite things to do is just curl up with a good book and a fat cat.

not that we don't have things in common. we do. and the things we do have in common are really important. goals. we want so many of the same things out of life, we just have slightly different ways of wanting to get there.

in a way, the things that make us so different are the things that attract me to him. but they can also be the things that lead to fighting or passive-aggressive feelings about a weekly golf league that involves 27 holes of golf and i can't even imagine how many pint of beer.

but we're settling into this whole marriage thing. it will take time and probably a few more nights where i will have to sit here and ramble aimlessly about something to bring on the zzz's. not unlike those nights where he watches endless infomercials on the couch in the living room so the little t.v. in our bedroom won't keep me awake. (though his sleepless nights are a teensy more risky considering the last time that happened i woke him on the couch at around five in the morning asking him to come to bed and sleepily, and proudly, confessed to me that he had just called and ordered a windsor pilates dvd ala daisy fuentes and that i'll be able to drop a dress size in just ten days when it arrives.) he does have his charming moments...

long story short, i'm totally committed to this man; my best friend. my wedding was, by far, the best day of my life. and not just because it went off without a hitch (when does that happen anyway?!) but also because he swore that he would always love and keep me, till death do us part, and because i swore the same. and we both meant it.

even if he does smell like beer and wet dog after a day of golf with the guys. maybe tomorrow i'll try some windsor pilates. after all, it did come with the official windsor pilates sculpting circle for free-a $30 value.

wow, i am a lucky girl.